Play the Man - Todd Friel

Play the Man - Todd Friel

Play the Man is a bold, biblical call for men to reject passivity, kill sin, and pursue godly strength. Focused specifically on the fight against pornography, this book exposes the root issue— misplaced affections—and equips men to battle lust by treasuring Christ more.

It's a straightforward, no-excuses guide to becoming the man God created you to be. Whether used personally or in a men's group, Play the Man offers the truth, tools, and motivation needed for real, lasting change.

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Play the Man - Todd Friel
  • Introduction - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Before lust consumes you like fire, this book calls you to play the man—to reject weakness, pursue godliness, and become the kind of man worth admiring.

    Inspired by the martyrdom of Hugh Latimer and Nicholas Ridley, the introduction sets the tone: you’re not just battling porn—you’re answering a...

  • First Things First - E.1 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 1
    Before you can fight sin, you must know if you truly belong to Christ. This chapter helps you examine whether you’re a man who dives headfirst into sin or one who stumbles and fights.

    It exposes the difference between worldly sorrow and godly repentance—and offers the assurance that tr...

  • Why You Are Enslaved to Porn - E.2 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 2
    You’re not addicted—you’re in bondage. This chapter dismantles the lie that porn is a disease you can’t control and reveals the real issue: loving porn more than Jesus. You obey what you love most, and right now, that’s sin.

    Real freedom begins when you stop seeing yourself as a victim...

  • Trading a Cistern for A Well - E.3 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    You keep running back to porn because you believe it will satisfy—but it never does. Like drinking from a broken cistern, it leaves you empty, ashamed, and thirsty for more.

    This chapter calls you to stop settling for filth and start drinking from the living water only Christ can provide.

    Lasti...

  • Vision One: What You Look Like Now - E.4 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 4
    Porn hasn’t just hurt you—it’s distorted you. This chapter holds up a mirror and shows the real effects: weakness, deception, isolation, shame, and spiritual decay. It’s a hard look, but a necessary one.

    Before you can become the man God wants you to be, you need to see how far you’ve ...

  • Vision Two: A Better You - E.5 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 5
    Godly men aren’t just free from porn—they’re strong, respected, self-controlled, and used by God to do great things. This chapter casts a vision for the man you could become: one who leads, protects, loves, and lives with integrity.

    You don’t have to stay stuck. You can be a man who in...

  • Vision Three: Your Current Master - E.6 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 6
    Every time you choose porn, you’re not just sinning—you’re worshipping a cruel master who hates you. This chapter exposes Satan’s tactics: deception, destruction, and domination.

    If you don’t see how much the enemy despises you, you’ll keep serving him. It’s time to stop giving your ob...

  • Vision Four: An Amazing King - E.7 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 7
    Jesus isn’t just a better option—He’s the King who laid down His life for you. This chapter contrasts Satan’s cruelty with Christ’s kindness, showing you a Shepherd-King who protects, provides, and leads with love and power.

    Victory over sin doesn’t come from willpower—it comes from lo...

  • Evict the Enemy - E.8 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 8
    You can’t win the war if the enemy is living in your camp. This chapter calls you to take radical action—cut off access to the people, places, and devices that make porn easy to reach.

    If you’re serious about freedom, it’s time to stop making excuses and start making war. Destroy what’...

  • Identify Your Weapons - E.9 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 9
    God hasn’t left you defenseless. This chapter reveals the arsenal available to every believer: the Holy Spirit, Scripture, prayer, repentance, grace, and the local church. These aren’t clichés—they’re your survival tools.

    You already have everything you need to fight and win. Now it’s ...

  • Train with Your Weapons - E.10 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Victory won’t come by accident. This chapter urges you to prepare for temptation before it strikes—by memorizing Scripture, renewing your mind, and building spiritual strength through daily discipline.

    You don’t fall into holiness—you train for it. The more you arm yourself with truth, the more ...

  • Drop to Your Knees, Soldier - E.11 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 11
    Prayer isn’t optional—it’s essential. This chapter confronts the excuses that keep men from praying and shows why neglecting prayer is like ignoring a burning house while holding a phone in your hand.

    If you want real power and lasting change, you must talk to the only One who can res...

  • Know Who You Are - E.12 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 12
    You’re not defined by your failures—you’re defined by who you are in Christ. This chapter reminds you that if you belong to Jesus, you are a forgiven, empowered, and beloved child of God.

    Knowing your identity gives you the confidence and clarity to live like the man God has already m...

  • Know You Are Loved - E.13 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 13
    God doesn’t love a future, cleaned-up version of you—He loves you right now, even in your struggle. This chapter reminds you that His love is constant, not based on your performance but rooted in Christ’s finished work.

    When you truly grasp how deeply you are loved, you’ll stop runnin...

  • Behold the Man - E.14 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 14
    Freedom from porn doesn’t come by focusing on yourself—it comes by fixing your eyes on Jesus. This chapter calls you to behold Christ: His strength, His sacrifice, His love, and His glory.

    The more clearly you see Him, the more you’ll want to obey Him. Victory begins not with trying h...

  • Find a Platoon - E.15 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 15
    Lone soldiers get picked off. This chapter emphasizes the power of community and accountability through the local church. Real strength comes when you link arms with other godly men who challenge, encourage, and walk with you.

    Isolation fuels defeat—but brotherhood fuels victory. You ...

  • Plan for Failure - E.16 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 16
    Even the strongest soldiers can stumble. This chapter helps you prepare for those moments by creating a battle-ready fallback plan—steps to take, people to call, and truths to cling to when temptation hits.

    A man who plans for failure doesn’t plan to fail—he plans to rise, repent quic...

  • War Games - E.17 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 17
    You can’t win real battles without real training. This chapter walks you through practical “what if” scenarios—tempting moments you’re likely to face—and equips you to respond by speaking biblical truth and taking action.

    Victory comes when you stop reacting and start rehearsing. Trai...

  • Lose the Excuses - E.18 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 18
    Excuses are the enemy’s camouflage. This chapter exposes the lies you tell yourself—“It’s too hard,” “I’ll never change,” “I’m only human”—and challenges you to take full responsibility for your sin.

    You don’t need more time or softer truth. You need to stop making excuses and start c...

  • Play the Man - E.19 - Play the Man - Todd Friel

    Chapter 19
    This final chapter is your call to action. No more waiting, no more wavering. You’ve seen what sin does, what freedom looks like, and what kind of man you can become. Now it’s time to stand, fight, and live like a man of God.

    You were made for more than failure and regret. By God’s gr...